Loss through the death or suicide of a family member or friend is the ultimate cause of grief.
When we first hear the news of a death, even if it is expected, it is typically one of disbelief, shock and numbness. Feelings like these are normal because they are nature's way of sedating us to give us time to accept what has happened.
As those feelings wear off, the person who is grieving experiences the full pain of grief with all the emotional and physical symptoms. The extent of this pain depends on who the person was i.e. a child, parent, spouse, best friend etc., how strong or close the relationship was and how the person died. It is important not to suppress the feelings that arise. You may be feeling anxious, lonely, helpless, irritable and yearning for the person who has passed. You may also experience feelings of release, particularly if the person who has passed was suffering or underwent a long period of illness that required on-going care.
You may be experiencing feelings of guilt or self-blame about words unspoken or thing left undone. You may be experiencing anger which may be so strong and frightening and you feel you are losing control. This anger may be directed towards the person who has died, medical professionals or God. Suppressing anger is not healthy and can destroy your mental wellbeing.
At Let's Talk we understand that grief can be one of the most painful and upsetting experiences you go through because, your feelings can be incredibly overwhelming and powerful. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, as we all grieve differently, but there is always the sense that life will never be the same again.
It may be some time since the person died but you may experience grief surges which are sudden feelings of being overwhelmed, it may come out of nowhere and may strike deep pain at all levels. Sounds, smells, a picture, a song can bring on grief surges. It is important when you experience those surges that you do not panic but rather acknowledge those feeling and seek help.
It is important to realise that grief is not only confined to the loss of a loved one, it has many causes - ageing, retirement, marital breakdown, relationship, loss of health or the loss of a loved one to dementia.
Adjusting to loss is a process and the emotions you are feeling now are a normal part of that process. However, it is important to talk about your feelings as, normally when those feelings are examined in therapy, they become a healthy part of your healing journey.
At Let's Talk we can assist you in navigating this painful journey.
If you or a loved one are effected by the issues outlined here please contact Let's Talk at 085 7181267